As a young woman in today’s society, it seems that everyone puts labels on us. If we’re curvy, we’re too fat. If we’re skinny, we’re unhealthy. All of the constant criticism weighs down on our confidence & self esteem. That, ladies, is just wrong.
I’ve struggled with confidence issues since high school. I used to care what everyone thought of me & tried to change myself to please them. That, by far, is the biggest mistake anyone could make.
I know now that I totally wasted my time worrying about the opinions of others. I’m finally at that point where I know who loves and appreciates me for who I am & those who don’t? Well they don’t matter. I make my own sunshine!
One of the few steps to happiness is finding your confidence & learning to love who you are, regardless of what people say about you. In my last post about surrounding yourself with positive people, I mention how they can help build up your confidence. That’s 100% true.
But, you also need to be able to build up your own confidence.
And how do you do this? Well….it’s quite the journey, but by having a persistent, positive attitude, you will succeed.
The first step to finding your confidence is: Stop comparing yourself to others.
This is so hard to do, but it is absolutely crucial. I know. Easier said than done. We wish we looked like that, we wish we could dress like that, we wish we had that talent…..and the list goes on.
Why do we do this? Each one of us is a gift. Our bodies, minds and hearts are all unique. We are imperfectly perfect in our own way. So, stay focused on yourself. Run your own race. Just because someone does something better than you, or before you, doesn’t mean that you have no talent. It doesn’t mean that you can’t do it too. Everybody’s different, everyone learns and grows at different rates. Confidence, confidence, confidence!
The second step? Relax & go with the flow!
Seriously, listen to what you are saying about yourself. If you had a friend that talked to you, the way you talk about yourself, would they even be your friend? Think about it. So, take a breather. Find an outlet that you can channel your talents to (and yes, everyone has a talent).
Never lose your confidence over a mistake. It’s not worth it! Remember – it’s all about perspective. You can gain your confidence from your experiences, rather than losing it from your experiences.
The third (and perhaps the most important) step: LOVE YOURSELF.
Listen, it’s not easy. There’s always something that we wish we could change about ourselves. But, once you come to that place of love and acceptance, you’ll be so much happier. When you have low confidence or self esteem, loving yourself can be a challenge. However, it is NOT impossible.
Put it into perspective. Life just would not be the same if you didn’t exist, or if you changed yourself for others. You were created the way you are for a reason. That means, you have a special gift & talent that can be used to put some good into the world, that maybe no one else has. Embrace it. Embrace everything you have to offer. *with dignity, of course*
Fourth: Be Positive.
Look for the good in any situation. Talking from experience, this can be hard too, but not impossible. Once you make up your mind that you want to be happy, the rest comes naturally.
Breathing in positivity and exhaling negativity, eventually becomes a habit. Sure, we all have our down moments. That will happen. The key is…don’t get stuck there. Sometimes, we are the prisoner’s of our own thoughts.
The fifth step to confidence: Do what you love & love what you do.
People shine the most whenever they are doing something they love. That’s when your true confidence shows because you want to be the best you can be.
Life isn’t all about making money, doing something because it’s in the family…..granted, having a good job, making money, those are pretty important. But, of course, they aren’t everything. You have to be happy in what you’re doing. If not, change it. You don’t like your major? Change it!
It has taken me 3 major changes to find my happiness….and I’m so not ashamed of that fact. I’m loving what I’m studying & I love all of the opportunities that are presented in front of me. I have big dreams, and I needed to find a major that complemented them. I finally did, and never felt better about it.
Long story short: Confidence is essential in everything you do, whether it’s at school, work, whatever! Build yourself up. Stop tearing yourself down. Ladies, stop thinking of yourselves as objects, or someone’s possession. Know who you are, and know your worth.